"I watched your story and it didn't have any impact on me. It was ' I am Lisa, look how strong I am, I want you to know that I struggled, but now I'm good. I have it all together, and I want you to as well.' Ouch. The story expert coach was right.
The way you present yourself on a stage, video, meeting, at the gym, in the bedroom, wherever you are aiming for greatness, you need an alter ego to play. Beyonce flips to Sasha Fierce when she wants to, Stefani Germanotta puts on meat dresses when she's Lady Gaga, and I'm pretty sure Madonna isn't walking around in her cone shape bras at home, but that becomes their reality. That's their part in the arena, when they have to play.
We worry. That we aren't smart enough. That we don't know enough people. That we aren't fit enough. That we are screwing up our kids. That people are judging us. That our business is a failure. That we don't have enough clients. That we will sound stupid. That we will make a mistake. That we will lose money. All of these potential worries stops us from building the body we want and the business we want.
Vulnerability can suck, but it can also be a beautiful way to connect. To let people only see the highlight reel, with social media and statuses and filters is selfish. We expect perfection and if we don't have it, we feel less than. We feel insignificant. But once you've created a dream for your life, you have to expect that you've also created the barriers because you had the courage to let it be known.
There is a difference between can't and won't. There is a difference between can't and I presently struggle with. In my house, can't is like a bad word. Because words don't have meaning without context. Let me explain.
You see, hurt people, hurt people. But you can't take it personal. Haters used to destroy me. Growing up as a people pleaser, I was WRECKED if someone didn't like me. In fact, I wanted people to like me so much that I forgot who I was. I forgot what I wanted. I forgot about my own needs and my health. Forget path of purpose, I didn't think that far. And it costs me a lot of time, happiness, and memories.
It's not your products, it's not your logo, or even your intellectual property. It's not making sure you're productive. We grind in our business worrying if we're doing enough. Are we ticking things off our lists, balancing our books, learning enough. Are we positioning ourselves enough and saying the right things? It's not learning, positioning, productivity, products. (Although they are insanely important.) The number one asset in business, is what my 4 year old likes to call adults, "Humans.
Let's be honest. You see all these hot bods on Instagram and you think they have it all figured out. You see the highlight reel on Facebook of people smashing their workouts, dropping dress sizes, and eating lettuce, And you can't cope. You can't ever imagine a day where you look in the mirror and say, "Damn. I'm sexy." Or maybe you do, but then one "bad" choice in food sends you down a tunnel of sabotage. I'm here to turn on the lights in that tunnel and pull you out.
Clearing, cleansing, letting go, call it what you will. We all need to do it, but I kept coming back to the HOWWWWWWWWWW. How do I do it? Meditate. I struggle. Journal. WHO HONESTLY HAS TIME FOR THAT? Don't get me wrong I brain dump, but journal through my issues. 30 Years, This could take awhile. I never knew where to START. And perhaps the fear of starting, brought out fears of what I would uncover.
It's not your lack of focus. It's not social media. It's not your email. It's not the dishes in the sink or the laundry in the basket. It's not the dog that's begging you for a walk. It's not that you don't know enough. Here's the real reason you're holding back...
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