You could say that being an entrepreneur gives you freedom, but it also comes with a shit ton of emotions. Constantly putting yourself out there for criticism and opinions, and if you're doing it right, you're going to take risks and you're going to fail.
As I lay in bed, with my husband snoring beside me, I fought back the tears. "I'm failing as a mom. I'm failing as a business owner, I'm a crappy friend, and I'm totally going to screw up my kid." Then came the waterfall. I was tired. But it wasn't from all of my to-do's. I was tired because my relentless striving for perfection burnt me out.
"Mom, do you have a baby in your belly because it's so BIG!" Ouch. Kids say the darnedest things. That innocent comment from my 5-year old was the straw that broke the camels back. At the end of 2018, I had enough.
I didn't want to watch, but through the tears streaming down our faces, my husband and I did. I guess that's what makes a great movie; when you can't look away. But it left me thinking about hopelessness.
We don't want to be added into groups we don't opt in for. We don't want to hear about flashy deals. We don't want to get the "Hey girl..." message from someone we haven't talked to since grade school. We want to be educated, respected, and heard, and we want to decide what our next right move should be.
2018 was good to me, but it was the first year that I focused on gratitude and value. I took away all of the manifesting, and dream boards, and quite frankly, demands of the universe, and replaced them with giving. Giving without any expectation.
I let my self care plan go out the window. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't sitting on the couch eating pizza, sleeping my life away (no judgement there if that's your jam), It was quite the opposite. I got caught in the rat race of serving my clients, family, friends, peers, and community that I honestly didn't even notice. I was over-scheduled, and hitting the ground running every day. Why?
Abundance is in inside job, so get to work. I'm dropping the hammer on you. But it was never about you. It's about them. Go serve the people who need you.
It's a week of presents, celebrating, and sometimes gluttony. By the time January 2nd rolls around, I don't want to eat, drink, or open any more gifts. As the years pass, I couldn't help but think, is all this necessary? Is having/wanting more, causing more and more stress?
So there I was, postpartum, post C-section, post traumatic birth, but still doing my thing and in my element on TV. Some people fear the camera. Fear the stage. Fear the live video-- I LOVE IT! I felt GREAT after my segment, so naturally when it aired and then posted online, I watched it. And there it was, that one little comment wrecked me.
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